“Charity suffers long and is kind, charity envies not, charity vaunts not itself, is not puffed up, does not behave itself unseemly, seeks not her own, is not easily provoked, thinks no evil, rejoices not in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 

I could have recited those four verses to you at the age of five. Growing up with godly parents, the verse was presented for my consideration so frequently that I began to gloss over it, to take the words for granted. Yet, what depth does this passage have that I have not yet grasped? 

At age five, I might have been able to tell you that “those verses about love” meant that I should be kind to my brothers, that I shouldn’t chase them around the house attempting to hit them with my hard plastic dolls. As I grew older and increased in understanding, the Lord showed me how love is not easily provoked. So, when my brothers did rip the heads off my Barbie, I shouldn’t threaten to impale him with the remainder of the Barbie’s body. 

As more time has passed, however, the Lord has continued to show me more of this love that we are to have for one another. He has taken my heart as it is placed in uncomfortable situations and stretched it, sometimes painfully, but never too much. And as I look back over so many painful situations, I find that somehow, in His great wisdom, my Lord has brought me through such times in order to mold my heart to be just a little more like His. In particular, He has shown me the practical reality of three aspects of the love spoken of in Corinthians: “suffers long”, “does not seek her own”, & “bears all things and endures all things”.  

Let’s start with a long-suffering love. Imagine this… You have a friend you really do love, but this person has been rubbing you the wrong way recently and it is very, very hard to get along with them. How do you react? I know myself. I know the first thing I would want to do would be to tell them exactly what they are doing wrong. But let’s bring the ‘1st Corinthians 13 filter’ into play here. Love suffers long. If I truly love that friend, I will 'suffer long' and not speak a harsh word. No matter what the provocation, the love which God asks us to have is a love which will not be irritated with others’ faults or wish to seek revenge or ‘justice’. God asks us to follow in Christ’s footsteps – to love one another even through those times when it would be easier not to. 

What about a love that ‘does not seek her own’? Well, consider a brother in Christ who you are a little bit interested in; how do you interact with him? As you speak to and spend time with him, who do you really have in mind with each of your actions? Remember 1st Corinthians 13:5, “love does not seek her own”. In our interactions with that valued someone, whose interests are we seeking? All too often it is easy to look at our own interests, our own feelings, our own futures. But, dear sisters, love does not seek her own interests. Look at what is best for someone other than yourself. Examine how your actions are impacting and will impact them and what is best for their future. Consider that, and act accordingly. This is sometimes easier to do when we care deeply for someone, but remember, this love is one that we should have for every brother & sister in Christ. 

Just one more aspect of love to think on here. Think of a friend who is very dear to you, whose friendship you value greatly, who you confide in and share so much in your life with. Have you ever had a friend like that? Has such a friendship ever been damaged by either yourself or that friend? If not, imagine how you would feel if your best friend was suddenly someone who you could not speak to. The hurt caused by a breach in such a friendship can be inestimable. Girls especially have a tendency to not let that pain go, to try to tell everyone possible about what has happened. We hold grudges and treat people differently. But is this how we would react if we truly loved that person? “Love bears all things and endures all things.” In 1st Peter 4:8, we are told that love “covers a multitude of sins”. If you truly love that friend, you would not count the relationship irreparably harmed, you would not bring to mind any wrongs suffered, you would not pull away out of self-pity and hurt. Love bears all things and endures all things. Love covers, love hides, and love forgets. Love is humble and will never abandon a friend. Love admits when she is wrong, and love cares when it might be easier to run away. 

My dear sisters, these are only a few lessons that the Lord has taught me, only a few aspects of love that He has somewhat laboriously carved into my heart. There is so much more to learn, we could delve so much more deeply into the topic. But above all, the ultimate example of love that we are given is the love of God. His love is perfect, unchanging, and will never, ever fail us. He will never abandon us in a time of need. Know Him, know His love, and He will change your heart.